Romancing My Husband Day 1

I hadn't decided what romantic gesture I was going to do for my first day of this journey. I was thinking about it all day long when suddenly, an opportunity for romance fell into my lap, disguised as something very unromantic: frustration.

About a week ago, I was doing the dinner dishes and flipped on the garbage disposal and noticed it wasn't working. No sound, no disappearing food remnants... just a full, clogged sink. A few days earlier, I purchased a small, framed white board and nailed it to the wall next to our front door. It's purpose is to write down reminders for both Brian and myself to see. It's in a very prominent place in our home and difficult to miss. On this board, I wrote the following note:

Brian-

Please fix the garbage disposal. Thanks, baby. I love you :)

My loving little note remained on the board for a couple of days. The garbage disposal remained broken. So, I re-wrote my note with a bright orange marker and with larger letters, hoping it would catch the eye of my busy hubby on his way out the door the following morning. A couple more days passed, and the note remained. As did the stench of rotting food in my still-broken garbage disposal. I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to pick up my phone and rip Brian a new one. When he came home that night, I calmly reminded him of the task that waited and he promised to get it done before leaving for work the next morning. I woke up the following day, ready to tackle last night's dishes, but found the garbage disposal... you guessed it! Still broken.

That night, enraged, I told Brian how frustrating it was for me to need something done that I do not know how to do myself; something as important as the garbage disposal- one of the items in our home I use the most- and made sure he knew it needed to be fixed before today because I had a friend coming to visit. Call me crazy, but I really didn't want the smell of rotting food from the past week to be lingering in our lovely home during her visit. He explained that he needed to find the flashlight to see down the drain and fix whatever the problem was, but he understood and promised again to get it taken care of. I went out the following morning and had my weekly alone time at Starbucks. During my quiet prayer time in my cozy corner, I felt the Lord whispering the word "grace" over and over. I wasn't sure what He meant by that or what He was trying to show me, so I prayed about it. No response. I got out my laptop and looked up the definition of the word and found this...

Grace is kindness we do not deserve.

I still wasn't sure why God had put this word on my heart, and didn't feel like He was answering. I read my Bible for a bit, finished my latte, and headed home so Brian could get to work. As soon as I walked in the door, he kissed me goodbye and left. Immediately, I noticed the garbage disposal was still...broken. At this point, all the peace and quiet in the coffee shop that had soothed my soul and banished my stresses from the past week was shot, and I was angry, to put it delicately. I threw down my purse, put Bella in front of a video (a very loud video, because I knew what I was about to say to Brian wasn't something she should hear), and reached for my phone. As my fingers dialed his number I heard a whispered word in my heart... "grace." I stopped and remembered my quiet time from just a few minutes ago that felt so far away. Grace... God knew I would need it. I put down my phone and thought about my commitment to romancing my husband. What would this do to him? It would put him down, shut him out, and make him feel inadequate, stupid, and useless. It would ruin his day before it even had a chance to begin... he probably wasn't even on the freeway yet.

My mind wandered to times in my life that I've received God's grace... when I heard Him calling me to a specific task that I didn't feel like doing, and ignored His voice, when I allow my emotions to get the best of me, when I skip my prayer time in favor of watching TV. Then I thought of a handful of times when Brian gave me grace. He lets me be right, he hugs me when I'm in a bad mood, he listens when I need to vent, and he comes home to me every single night. And he does not have to.

My thoughts were interrupted by my ringing phone. It was Brian. I didn't even have a chance to say "hello" because he immediately started apologizing for forgetting to fix the garbage disposal again. He was panicking and I could tell how awful he felt about it. I smiled to myself at this perfect opportunity for romance.

I interrupted his troubled voice and said "You are so sweet to care about this so much. It shows me you understand that having you help me around the house makes a huge difference in my day, and you care how my days go. I love you. Don't worry about it." The relief in my husband's voice was unmistakable. Grace is kindness we do not deserve. Grace is romance.

I quickly dumped some lemon juice down the drain to mask the smell that comes with having a broken garbage disposal, and whipped out the Febreze. When Brian got home from work, there was no tension between us. Just a movie waiting to be watched and a couch waiting for us to cuddle up on. Oh, and in case you're wondering (which I know you are), the garbage disposal got fixed that night. Look at what a little grace can do! ;)

Romancing My Husband Day 1: Gave him grace instead of guilt.

Result: A relieved and blessed husband.